The Aftermath
by katetastic
Summary: FORMALLY NIGHTMARES! How will Lu handle her rape? How can she function after this happens? Please Please R&R! The rating is for mild language, and discussion of the rape nothing to terribly graphic. I have added the actual chapter 4!
1. That Night

A/N: hey you all, my loyal fans! I am here saying that Rand Kilner is a b and he deserved to be behind bars (sorry I get a little passionate). Also I thought the whole story could have used a little bit more. (I really thought that they should have showed Rand walking into her apartment and then when he was actually raping her like shoot her door or something…but that was just me) Ok so I thought that I was going to stay close to the story line, and now I that I have been writing I realized I didn't, so her rape has gotten way re-written. I hope you enjoy! Please review, even if you hate it lemme know so I can consider what you suggest, and maybe change it. Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly, but I do own the random stuff that changed (so all the changes I put in came from the twisted folds of my brain) Lifetime, I promise to put the character back where I found them when I am done.

…Rosablasifann08…

"Rand thanks so much for the ride home, and I own you one." Lu said as she fumbled with her keys.

"You're so welcome." Rand replied with a small smile. Lu pushed her way into her apartment, as she turned around to tell him good bye, she saw him trying to get into her apartment. He made his way in.

"What 0do you think you are doing? Marc is gonna be home soon, and I don't have men over, unless he knows and I don't want to get with you because I love Peter (they have been dating for 2 years now). So leave, now!" she said pointing to the door.

"Now, Lu, you know that you want to have fun with me, so come on baby, let's go have fun" he said putting his hands around her waist, and pulled her on to the couch. She flailed underneath his weight and he pushed her down, and punched her in the eye. "Now baby, you know you want me so let's not do this, we both know you want to." The whole time he talked to her he undressed her, and took off his pants. "Now, Lu, here's the fun…" then he raped her, put his pants back on and left.

"Lu get up. You are lying here, and every minute Rand is getting farther and father away, and the evidence on your body will help get that bastard where he belongs; behind bars." She put her clothes on, and slowly made her way out of her apartment and hailed a cab. She slid in and was sitting there in silence, after giving him the address. The cabby looked worried, and didn't make her pay the fair, seeing what state she was in. she slid out of the cab, and went into the emergency room. "Hey, Lu, what's up?" Dr. Biancavilla

asked. "He…he, r-ra-raped me." Lu finally sputtered out. Nick gasped, and put Lu into a bay in the E.R. and went and paged Dr. Campbell. Andy ran into the E.R. and called out "Who paged Campbell?"

"Me," Dr. Biancavilla said, "Bay 8. Dr. C. it's Lu. She was raped, and need the exam. The kit is in the room, and she's ready for the exam, and some compassion." Andy nodded, grabbed her chart, and went in. Andy gasped as she saw Lu's state. She was very rumpled, she had a black eye, and a few other bruises along her body. "Oh, Lu."

"Hi, Andy"

"Lu, who did this to you?"

"It was Dr. Kilner." Lu responded. Andy waited a moment and

"What happened?"

"I didn't go to his party, because Marc was supposed to be home, and as a general rule, I try to get home before my son. Well my car broke down, and Kilner gave me a ride home. I went in and he made his way in. I never invited him in, and I said that he had to get out, and then he came over and wrapped his arms around me. He kept calling me b-baby." At this point tears started to run down Lu's face "I was struggling to get out of under his body, but he is just so much bigger than me. He punched me and said that he knew I was enjoying it. Then he slowly undressed me and took off his pants. Andy he raped me."

"Don't worry Lu, your safe now, we won't let him touch you." Andy placed her hand on Lu's shoulder, and Lu visibly stiffened. "Sorry Andy, but that's the spot Rand used to pin me down, so please don't grip my shoulders like that" Andy nodded in understanding. "Sorry Lu, I didn't know. Well are you ready to start with the exam?" Lu nodded, and Andy started the exam. She slowly talked her through it, collecting all the evidence of Dr. Rand Kilner off of Lu's body. "I'm finished, but I need to get you a counselor to talk to so, you can talk to the resident here or you can talk to Lana now that she got her psychology degree."

"Since I have to talk to someone, I guess it will be Lana, because I have to tell her sometime, so I guess I will get it over with now." Andy nodded then her pager loudly beeped. "Andy go, I'll be here, waiting. So go, someone might be dying, and you the great doctor, can go save their life. You must be a hell of a better doctor than me, because this doctor can't even save herself. I know this damn town, I grew up in the hood, and I don't even know when a man is going to pull his 'thing' out of his pants and shove it into me. I fought Andy, I fought back hard, can't you see that? I am beaten up, and I tried and I couldn't get him off of me, I couldn't save myself, even though I tried hard! Damnit why; why can't I save myself? I save other people all the time, yet the one person I can't even fix is myself" Lu ranted with tears streaming down her face. Andy collected the sobbing doctor into her arms, and let her cry. Seeing Lu so vulnerable and defenseless just broke Andy's heart. Usually Lu was the strong one who wouldn't take this kind of help, yet she just collapsed into Andy's arms. After a few moments, Lu collected herself and pulled away. "Thank you, Andy. Thank you for being here when I needed you the most. You have no idea how glad I am that you were here, I really don't know what I would have done without you…could you please tell Peter what happened to me, I don't know if I have any energy left to explain it to him."

"Lu your welcome, and of course I will tell Peter for you. Lu you are the best friend I have ever had, and I will do anything for you. Now I am going to go check on this page, and while I do, I am going to go get Lana and have her come and talk to you." Andy said. She gave Lu's hand a reassuring squeeze, and then walked out of the room, and headed down to the clinic. Andy was kind of glad that it was Peter paging her, because she really needed to talk to him, and most likely, he just needed to ask her something.

(down at the clinic)

"Hey Lana, could you go up to the E.R. I have a rape patient who needs to talk to a counselor, and she specifically asked to talk to you."

"Sure thing. So who is the rape patient?"

"You have to wait and find out. Speaking of which have you seen Peter?"

"Yea he is in his exam room finishing up."

"Thanks Lana." Andy walked off and went into Peter's exam room. "Hey Peter why did you page me? I am in the middle of a rape exam."

"Oh sorry Dr. Campbell, I just wanted to know your opinion on this ring I got for Lu" He pulled out a gorgeous engagement ring. "I was going to go by her house tomorrow, before she goes to work, and surprise her. What do you think?"

"Well Peter, I don't think tomorrow will be the best time…because, well she got raped tonight by Rand Kilner, and I don't think she wants much to do with men at this point in time."

"Oh my God…what wasn't I there? I thought about taking her home, but she said she would be fine. So I took her word, and now look what happened, she got raped. If only I had been there."

"Peter, this isn't your fault, but maybe tonight isn't the best night to propose.." she sat him down and told him the details that she had received from Lu. Then said, "I am sorry but I have to go finish up Lu's exam"

(Meanwhile in the E.R.)

"Hey Nick, where is the rape patient that I needed to talk to?" Lana asked in the hubbub.

"Bay 8, Lana be careful with this one, she will be hard to get to open up about how she feels, she's always the strong one, and I doubt she is just going to break that away, and be the one who needs to be helped."

Lana shot him a weird look, because he knew so much about the patient. Nick just shrugged, and walked off to help another patient. Lana walked into the section and started talking. "Hi my name is…" she trailed off when she saw who the patient was. "Lu, who did this to you?"

"Rand Kilner." Lu replied, her voice dripping with distain. "Look, I don't wanna talk about this, I don't wanna relieve this experience, and so I am not going to talk to anyone else about it."

"Now Lu, you need to talk about it. So please don't shut me out." Lana begged, "come on girl you'll feel better."

"Fine you know what I don't want you badgering me all the time so I am going to tell you all of it, and, Lana, its brutal…"

"Lu, baby girl, I will listen to all you want to say. Take me back to the moment before the rape." Lana said, taking a seat on the stool beside the bed. Lu began painting the picture of the scene of her rape. Then ending the story she said, "Then he laughed and then said 'that was a lot of fun, baby, but now I have to go…I'll see you tomorrow at work.' Then I lied here for a moment then got up put my clothes back on and came here…the rest is history" Lu concluded.

"Well sweetie I am glad you talked to Lana, now I am going to go file this, and then Petie boy might come up here and talk to you ok honey?"

Lu just sat there and nodded in silence. Lana shot her a worried look, and slid out of the exam room. Once Lu was by herself she let her masquerade down, and let all of her pain go and sobbed. Then she heard someone slide into the exam room. She quickly wiped the tears form her eyes, and saw Peter standing at the edge of the curtain looking heart-broken. "This is why I never let my guard down, because it upsets the people I love." Lu thought to herself.

"Baby…" Peter said.

"Don't call me baby, that's about all Kilner said while he was raping me." Lu responded in a very blasé way.

"Lu, talk to me honey, I know you are hurting, or you wouldn't have been crying. Please let me in, you know I will never do anything to hurt you."

"Why, why should I believe you? I mean I never thought that a man have such audacity to think that when he shoved his thing into me and I would just let him, so how do I now that you wont hurt me?" Lu exploded. Peter knew that he needed to let her break down on him so that he could prove to her how much she meant to him. He slowly walked over and held her hand. She didn't jerk away, so he slowly pulled her into an embrace. "Now Lu, if I am touching you in any way you don't want me to, please say so, I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Lu nodded, and relaxed in his embrace. "Peter I tried so hard, I tried to make him stop. I just couldn't…" she again just broke down. She hated the feeling that she couldn't control her emotions, yet she felt so secure in Peter's arms, she just let go. A few hours later, they were walking out of the clinic, with Peter's arm around her shoulder as if to protect harm since he wasn't there before.

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	2. Telling Marc

A/N: Disclaimer: I own nothing, A few things I wanted to say: I warned you that her rape story got way rewritten. Lol, I changed a lot of people, because I thought that they would be more caring/ compassionate towards Lu. This chapter is dedicated to all my "fans" that replied!

…….Rosablasifan08……..

Marc was pacing the floor it wasn't like his mom to be this late, and she didn't even have her pager, so she couldn't be reached. He was rather angry with her, and he felt that he had every right to be because, after all, his mom would be if the roles were reversed. Then he heard the familiar click of her keys in the door. He was working himself up and then, when he saw the way Peter was protecting Lu, and seeing that Lu had been beaten all the color drained from his face. "Ma, what's going on..."

"Hey Marc, how was your day at school today?" Lu asked, trying to avoid the subject of her bruises.

"Mom, cut it out, you know what I wanna know. What on earth happened to you? I have been worried sick about you, and how did you get all of those bruises?" Marc said working himself up.

"Honey sit down and then we can talk about it." She walked the rest of the way into her apartment, and then sat on the couch across from Marc. "I was raped today by Rand Kilner her works at the hospital. That's why I wasn't here, when you got here. My car was broken down, and he gave me a ride home. He pushed his way into the apartment, and then raped me. Then I got a ride to the hospital and got a rape kit done, and then Peter heard I was up in the E.R. and offered to take me home, and I let him. I am just so glad that you weren't here, so you wouldn't have seen anything like that."

Marc looked rather shell-shocked "…Did Dr. Jackson do anything about it? Is Dr. Kilner going to get fired?" Marc asked.

"Honey I don't know yet, but I do know that he isn't going to get away with this." Lu replied.

(Later that night at around 3 in the morning)

"No…No…please get off of me…I said stop!" Lu muttered in her sleep. She was tossing and turning. "Rand I told you to get off of me. Please stop! Get off of me! NO!" Lu kept getting louder and louder, and then Peter woke up and heard Lu crying out in her sleep. He quickly stood up and walked into Lu's bedroom.

"Lu, Lu wake up sweetie," Peter said gently shaking her, "wake up, you're having a nightmare." Lu sat up with a gasp, still shaking from the nightmare. "Peter it was so real, it was like I was there again, underneath his weight…being hit and raped…" Peter sat next to her on the bed, and started to rub her shoulders. Lu visibly shuddered, and Peter saw that he must of touched her in a way that brought back the rape for her; and he quickly removed his hands "Sorry Lu, what did I do?"

"It's just that…Rand used my shoulders to pin me down, and I just really don't want ya to touch them like that." Peter nodded, and gave her a hug. "Do you want me to stay up with you?" Lu shook her head.

"I'm just gonna go back to bed…I'll be fine, really." Peter gave her a look, and walked out of her bedroom. Determined, Lu laid back down, and closed her eyes. Flashes of the rape went through her mind. Giving up the hope of sleeping more Lu walked over to her window seat, and started to read a good book, staying up the rest of the night. She heard Peter trying to move around in her small apartment without anyone waking up. Lu smiled to herself, thinking how cute it was that he was trying so hard to take care of her. She grabbed her clothes and a towel and headed for the shower. "Hey, Peter, breakfast smells good. I am gonna hop in the shower, and then I'll be ready to eat, ok?"

"Sound good!" Peter replied from the kitchen. Peter rummaged through her kitchen, looking for the no stick cooking spray. "Obviously Lu doesn't cook in here enough to need it." Peter mused to himself. He kept rummaging through her house in search for things to make a breakfast feast. Marc woke up, and padded into the kitchen "Hey Peter, thanks for breakfast, if it was just me and mom, I would either be eating cold cereal or burned toast." Marc said with a little laugh. "How's mom?"

"Well she claimed that she slept last night, after her nightmare, but she looked pretty tired. You ok Marc; you don't look like you feel too good. " Peter led Marc to the couch so they could sit there and talk about what had happened.

Marc shrugged "I am ok, I couldn't sleep very well. I feel so bad, I mean maybe if I were home, mom wouldn't have been here alone, and then Dr. Kilner wouldn't have tried anything like that. I just can't believe that I wasn't there to protect her; I mean I am the man of the house, and it is my job to protect my mom from guys like that."

"Marc she is your mom, and I know she is all you got, but you do need to realize that you can't protect her from everything that could happen to her. Your just her son, you need to know that sometimes bad things will happen. You and your mom are strong you all can handle anything, and if you feel like you all can't, I'll be here to help you all."

"Thanks Peter." Marc said as he got up.

"Your welcome, man." Peter replied and pulled the young boy into a hug. Lu walked out of the bathroom, rubbing her hair with a towel, and saw them hugging. A small smile crossed her face. She knew she was very luck to have such great guys, but today was a hard day for her, she knew that she would have to go back, and face the events of the night before. She walked over as they were pulling away. "So chef-man, I better have an amazing breakfast, and yes I know you must be happy that Peter is cooking, insteada me." Lu said to Marc.

Marc raised his hands up defensively and then exclaimed, "Hey ma, I didn't say anything…but it doesn't mean I didn't think it." Marc said with a laugh. They all sat down to eat, and Lu took about three bites of everything and then just settled for pushing everything around her plate. Peter shot her a weird look, and Lu shrugged her shoulders and then said "I'm just not very hungry this morning."

(At the clinic)

"Morning Lana, is there any messages for me?"

"Lu, kid, what on earth are you doing here? You told me you would be taking a day off."

"Laaannaaa, you know you can't keep me away from this clinic. I know I know, you want me to distress, but I no matter where I am I am going to be stressed to the max, so why not be somewhere that I can be saving a life or two while I am stressed?" Lu said in a very annoyed tone.

"Ok, kid, if you say so.." Lu nodded, and then headed off for work. She worked through lunchtime. She helped a young girl tell her parents that she had herpes because she slept around the eighth grade, and did everyday type things that quickly filled up her day. She walked down to the cafeteria, hoping for time enough to quickly eat her food, or play with it anyway. "Delgado!" she heard a voice call to her down the hall. She turned around, and saw Andy walking quickly towards her. She inwardly groaned because she didn't need another person getting on her about her eating habits, which she knew that Andy would do when she saw that she wasn't eating. Andy quickly caught up with her. "Care to share lunch with me?"

"Sounds like fun." Lu quickly and easily lied. Andy smiled at her, and then both women walked to the cafeteria, and moved through the line. Lu only picked up a small salad, and a water bottle. Andy knew better to say anything, and then both women sat down. Lu picked at her food in silence, while Andy tried to keep up a conversation with her.

"How's Marc?" Andy asked bring up Lu's favorite subject. "He's fine, he took everything a lot better than I thought he would. Needless to say he is rather angry with Rand, and I think that he is angry with himself for not being there last night. I am real glad he wasn't though. There wouldn't have been anything that he coulda done, and then he would have to deal with seeing him mom getting raped…Peter is being really great about this whole thing, because I barely let him touch me, and he is still real sweet with me, like I was having a nightmare, and he came in and woke me up, and offered to stay up with me. Then this morning he made me and Marc breakfast. I just feel so bad that I don't wanna do anything sexual, like kiss or anything, but I just can't do anything right now."

"Lu, Peter will understand that you don't want to do anything right now, and don't feel bad for not wanting to either. You need to move at your own pace. Do you want to talk about last night, friend to friend, instead of doctor to patient?"

"Andy I don't want to talk about this right now, I don't even wanna think about it. I just want to put it all behind me and move on with my life." Then Lu's pager went off, she grabbed it and then said, "It's the E.R. I am gonna head down there."

"But Lu, you didn't eat anything." Andy trailed off after Lu, who was already taking off out of the cafeteria.

(In the E.R.)

"Who paged Delgado?"

"Over here." Nick called out "Young girl, nineteen, very pregnant, experiencing some contractions.

"Hey Gabbie."

"Lu it hurts…" the young girl trailed off.

"I know it does sweetie, take a few deep breaths and I will get you something for the pain." Lu replied as she gave Gabbie a manual check-up. "Can I get an epidural to ease the pain?" Lu asked getting up, ready to go check Gabbie into L&D. "Of course doctor." A nurse replied, walking off to get the paperwork rolling. "You do know that could be you in nine months, with my child." Kilned said in a snotty voice, getting into Lu's face. Lu's face froze, and for a moment paralysis took over her body. He put a firm grip on her shoulder, led her into an empty bay, and said in a low hiss "now don't say anything, or you will regret it." He quickly drew the curtain around them, just as Andy walked into the E.R.


	3. The Scare

_Disclaimer: The usual…I own nothing except the random twists. Sorry for the long wait for the update, but I opened a play and closed it three weeks ago, and I have tons of rehearsal, I finally have a moment so here I am trying to update it. Hey you all thank you all so much for the positive feedback. I always love to here how I am doing, even if you think negatively about it, but please no flames. Without further ado, here is chapter three :) _

**_Rosablasifann08_**

Andy didn't see the frightened Lu walk into the bay with Rand, but Peter was in the E.R. treating one of his patients, and looked up just in time to Rand take her into the empty bay. With his resolve not to let that animal hurt the love of his life, again, he called another nurse over to finish up with the exam. He quickly walked over to the bay, and slid into the curtain. He made no noise, yet he caught Lu's eye, reassuring her that he would take care of her. She nodded slightly, and waited for the plan that Peter had.

"Now, Lu, there are some things that we need to discuss," Rand said, sitting across from her on the exam bed, and because of his angle, he couldn't see Peter, "We could be having a baby, and I want to be the guardian, I might give you visitation rights. Also, we both know that last night was consensual, so why do you keep acting as if it wasn't? Lu, I really don't appreciate all of the rumors that you have been spreading. Also why on earth did you bother with that silly rape exam? Even if it were true that our sex was not consensual, no one will believe you."

He reached over to Lu, and was about to kiss her, until then Peter grabbed him away, and shoved him back. Seeing her opportunity, Lu quickly ran out of the bay, shaking, she collapsed onto Andy's arms, who saw her bolt out, and ran over to talk to her. "Lu, what on earth happened?" Andy asked quizzically, helping her to chair, "I saw you bolt out of the bay, looking as if you just saw a ghost." Lu took a deep breath trying to calm down, "I was down here giving my patient, Gabbie, and manual exam before she had her baby, then Kilner came up and started to talk to me, and then led me into a bay, then Peter came in…oh God, Peter…I hope he is ok…" as if on cue, Peter came up, with a bruised eye.

"I am fine, Lu. He punched me, and then security came in and pulled him off of me, and he walked it off, and I came to find you…are you ok? He didn't try anything while I wasn't in there, did he?" Lu shook her head, with a few tears coming out of her eyes. "I'm sorry Peter, I never wanted you to get hurt." She said reaching up to touch his eye. Then Peter pulled her in a hug, and Andy quietly slid away, trying not to disturb the couple's happy moment. "I love you so much Lu and I promise I will wait for you to tell me how far you are willing to go. I don't mind to take things slowly and I want you to be comfortable. I want you to know that I am never going to leave you, and you are the best girlfriend I could ever have." Peter murmured into her ear as they were hugging. "Thank you, Peter, I don't know what I would do without you, you are so amazing." Lu responded quietly, with tears running down her face. He hugged her tighter, while the E.R. was buzzing around them. They pulled apart and he walked Lu back down to the clinic.

(Down in the clinic)

"Baby girl you ok?" Lana asked when she saw that Lu had been crying. "Yea Lana I am fine. Who is my next patient?" Lu asked impatiently. Lana gave her a once over and glanced at Peter for some answers, and to that he made the motion of zipping his mouth closed. Then Lana said, "Gabbie had her baby, the on-call doctor took over since you couldn't be reached. Arabella is waiting for you in your office, you have no walk ins at the moment and then you have another patient at 4:30." "Thanks Lana. Between patients I am going to go up and check on Gabbie's little girl." Lu grabbed Arabella's chart and headed into the exam room.

Lana caught Peter by the shirt, before he could make a mad dash away from her. "Petie boy, what on earth is wrong with Luisa? Something is going on, she came down here crying and you have a bruised eye. Now somebody better tell Lana before she has to get rough." Lana said in her threatening way. Andy gave Lana a stern look. "Now, Hawkins, Lu doesn't want you to know, but I am sure that if she wants you to know, she will tell you herself." Lana gave her a quick one over, and then quickly said, "Dr. Campbell you know too don't you?" Andy quickly nodded, "sorry, but I knew because I saw the event unfold. If it were my thing to tell I would, but it is Lu's decision to tell or not to tell." At that moment Lu walked out of her exam room. "Now Arie I want to see you back here in a week, so I can check and make sure that ear infection cleared up, ok?" Arabella nodded and then replied "Sure thing Lu. So I will be ok to go back to school in a few days. I mean this is senior year, and I wanna make sure I get good grades, so that I can make sure that I get that scholarship for collage."

"yeah honey you will be fine." Lu said with a smile. Then Lu walked over to Lana's desk and said "That kid's work ethic amazes me. If only I was like that when I was her age..." Then Lu saw the look on Lana's face "Look I know you just want to now, so I will tell you. Ok?" Lana nodded, and Lu continued, "I got paged to the E.R., ya know for my patient Gabbie, and so I headed down there. Then once I got there so was Kilner. I walked into the E.R. and saw him, while I was checking Gabbie. He came over, talked to me, and then he put his hand on my shoulder, you know the place he used to hold me down, and then he led me into the bay. I followed him in, and then he was about to kiss me, and then Peter came in and I bolted out."

Just then Lu's pager beeped loudly. She looked down and saw who it was from. "it's Gabbie, they paged me down so I gotta go." Lu jogged off before Lana, or anyone else could ask what Kilner had said to her. Lu quickly entered Gabbie's room. "Hey, sorry I couldn't be here, I was unavoidably obtained."

Gabbie gave her a huge grin. "No problem, Lu. There is a little girl I want you to meet. Her name is Rose Mechelle." Gabbie cooed as she pulled the tiny baby out and lowered her into Lu's arms. "Ooo Gabbie, she is adorable! She is so perfect, and looks just like her mommy. Dontcha you pretty girl?" Lu said to the little miracle into her mother's arms and then headed out the door.

(Meanwhile in the Clinic)

"Peter, do you know what Rand said to Lu…I mean it had to be bad, or else I woulda known, it's unlike Lu not to say what he said, I mean she would have been telling me what he said…. oh God, Peter what if he has AIDS or somethin' and that is what he was tellin' Lu, I mean what if she only has a few months to live, and then she wont tell us so we only have like a week to spend with her…" Lana trailed off, getting herself worked up. Peter, seeing his chance to escape, ran so he wouldn't have to avoid the questions that needed to go to Lu. "Now Hawkins I am sure it is not nearly as bad as you are making things sound, I mean he could have been threatening her, not that it wouldn't be bad, but I doubt Lu is dying." Andy said as the voice of reason. Lana gave her a skeptical look, and then seeing it was a losing battle, she gave up, and went back to filing.

Lu slowly walked down the hall and looked at her watch, 4:30, three more hours until she could retreat home, and then be plagued with the memories there; instead of at the clinic. Lu felt as if she could never get away from the memories that dogged her. Sighing, she continued her walk down the hall. She saw her friends, and knew that she was going to be hit with more questions. As soon as she rounded the corner, she saw Lana stand up and walk towards her. "Hey, kid, you wanna talk?" Lana asked, putting her arm around Lu's waist. Lu rolled her eyes, spun out, and then, through clenched teeth, said "Look I don't wanna talk, that's all people want me to do. And then when I finally get a moment, when I think I can go lay down, no, someone just feels the burning desire to talk to me! Well unless you are sick or in need of my medical expertise, I don't want to be bothered, until seven. Understand?" she spun on her heels and then headed into her office. She closed the door and pulled out a blanket, and lied down to take a nap.

(Two hours later)

"Lana, can you cancel all of Lu's patients for today? Andy said she would take over Wednesday night clinic for her tonight, and I am going to take her home." Peter asked striding out of Exam 2. Lana nodded "of course baby, but promise me you will take good care of my Luisa." "Of course, Lana, of course." Peter replied more for his benefit than Lana's. He knocked on Lu's door, and when he got no reply, he stuck his head in, and saw Lu peacefully sleeping on the couch. He smiled, and then left the room. "Hey, Andy, would you do me a favor and help me open doors as I go out? Lu is asleep on the couch, and as you know, she hasn't been sleeping very well, and now that she is asleep I hate to wake her. I can't carry her, her stuff and get the doors, so I wanted to know, if you had a minute, if you could grab her stuff and the doors?" "Of course Peter, I am glad that she has someone who cares about her so much." They both walked into the office, and Peter walked over to Lu. He scooped Lu into his arms, and she moaned a little. "Shhh angel, it's just me." He murmured into her ear. He carried her into the lobby, where there were not patients, which saved Lu of some her dignity, and took her out into the car. Andy grabbed the door to the backseat, and Peter carefully laid Lu down and shut the door quietly. Andy opened the passenger door, and set Lu's purse and coat in the seat. Peter got into the front seat, and started the car. They were about half way home when Lu started to stir.

"Good afternoon, beautiful. Andy took over clinic tonight, and Lana rearranged your schedule today. I know you night be angry, but you need this time off, even if it was just today." Lu was still a little dazed from the sleep and waking up in the backseat of her car. "Yea I guess I should be angry, but I am kinda glad that I don't hafta take people's lives into my hands tonight. I have a favor to ask you…you heard what Kilner said, and I wanted to stop on the way home and get a pregnancy test." "Of course." So on the way home they bought a pregnancy test, and Lu went into the bathroom and took the test.

(One and 1/2 minutes later)

Lu sat on the toilet nervously waiting for the pregnancy results to come back. As much as Lu wanted to be pregnant, she couldn't right now. She wanted to be married, and not have the possibility that it be her rapist's child. After sending a quick prayer to God, Lu grabbed the small stick and quickly saw the little pink line. A rush of relief flooded over Lu, and she ran out of the room. "Peter, I'm not pregnant!" she exclaimed. "That's great," exclaimed Peter. Then he grabbed Lu and spun her around the room, and then kissed her on the lips. Shocked Lu pulled out of his grip "I'm sorry, Peter, I'm just not ready" Lu said with tears welling in her eyes. Then she turned on one heel and headed out of the room.


	4. I Will Always Love You

_A/N: Biggest thanks into the world to Renthead07 for co-writing this chapter!! You have no idea how much it helped me chica! _

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Lu finished treating a patient who had come into the E.R. after being attacked by her abusive boyfriend. Lu hadn't even been able to get through the examination and treatment in one piece, as much as she had tried to concentrate, Nick had to take over for her. Every bruise and every cut on the girl's body reminded her of Rand, of what he had done to her, not so long ago. Today was the one-month anniversary since Rand had raped her, since she had started lying to Marc and everyone else, since she had started hating herself in secret and hiding herself from the world.

Lu didn't even hear what Lana said to her, as she went past. She immediately went into her office and was overcome by the tears that suddenly came. It was blind panic that she couldn't control. Every day, she saw him, even if it was just her own imagination. She couldn't handle it alone anymore. No matter how strong she thought she was, she wasn't Superwoman.

Her chest still heaving with sobs, she noticed a penknife resting on one of the shelves. Not really thinking, she slowly walked over to the shelf and took the knife into her hand. The steel blade felt cold, the handle smooth, in her hand. Without even thinking about the consequences, she took the knife and slid it over her forearm, pressing down slightly as she went. She hissed in pain from the wound, but at the same time, she realized something else. The pain from the cutting made her forget about the pain Rand had caused her, when he had raped her. So she did it again. Not deep or long, just a short, little cut. She looked at the three pretty cuts across her arms, as he endorphins kicked it. She thought that just a little relief from the pain, relief for a minute only, would do her wonders. She was right. Suddenly she felt that she could see things a little more clearly.

Later that afternoon, Peter went in to check on her, knowing she was probably stressed out, and he found her crying again. "Lu, are you OK?" he asked. She didn't say anything. She didn't even look at him. He knew something was wrong. He grasped her arm and began to pull her close to him. "Talk to me, Lu. What's wrong?"

Lu quickly pulled away, afraid that Peter would see and ask her questions that she didn't know how to answer. She wasn't sure why she cut her self hours before, but she knew that it made her, temporarily, made her feel better.

Peter was confused and hurt; he took a breath before talking to Lu, knowing that it wasn't about him, she was just trying to work through a world of stress and anger. Lu made a noise of protest as she pulled away from him. As she did so, Peter looked at her, and then back at his hand, which he had just noticed that it was wet. He saw that it was blood, and then looked at her arm and saw the small cuts on her arm. "Lu," he said, alarm on his face, "what's wrong, sweetie? What are these?" He stepped closer to her and held up her arm with his hand. "Lu, what are you doing to yourself?" he demanded, trying not to sound angry.

Lu couldn't take it anymore. She broke down in tears and sank down on the floor. "Lu?" Peter asked again, worried by her sudden meltdown. He sat next to her in the middle of the floor of her office. He gathered her into his arms and held her as she sobbed, letting everything go; all the pain and agony that she carried around with her for the past month.

Lu lifted her head off his chest after a long moment and spoke. "I'm sorry, Peter," she sobbed. "I just— I can't take it anymore. I see Rand every day, no matter if it's just my own imagination. I've tried handling it on my own, but I can't anymore. I've lied to you, I've lied to Marc, I've lied to everyone in this damn hospital. It is like everywhere I go there is a ghost of the person I used to be before my car broke down, before I accepted the fatal ride for Rand. I always think about how much different it would be if I just let you take me home. I come here and I am like the giant white elephant in the room. I walk down the fucking hall and I can hear everyone whispering about that night. 'Did you hear that she was raped?' 'It was the new chief of surgeon' I can't even let my son come here after school, because when I did they wouldn't leave him alone because they were too busy asking him about what happened to me, Lana had to take him into an exam room and bring him things that he wanted. It isn't fair. I can't even recover in my own way without everyone breathing down my neck."

She lapsed back into her sobbing state. Peter held her and gently rocked her back and forth while she cried. After she settled down Peter indicated to her arms again, she went on. "I thought that... I thought that this would help, that this would take away the pain. It did for the moment, but now I feel just as shitty as I did earlier. I just wanted the pain to end. You don't know what it is like to experience something terrible and then having to keep reliving it in your dreams, even when you are just walking down the halls. I knew that the cuts would help my endorphins kick in, so I tried it. But that's not what I should be doing to help myself, is it?" She looked up at him.

"No, Lu, of course it isn't," Peter said, looking down at her. "Why didn't you tell me you were having trouble before? No matter what you say there is nothing that can make me love you less I can help you. You talk, I'll listen, OK."

"There's nothing more to say," Lu said. "I've said it all. I've done it all. I can't think of what else there is to do or so anymore."

"Well, do you want to see a psychologist or something? They'll listen to you. You can rant and rave and yell and scream, or do whatever you need to do, and they'll offer advice and open ears," Peter said. "And you have me. You have Marc. You have everyone in this whole damn clinic to talk to, Lu. We'll do anything for you. You know that, right? "

"Yeah, I know," Lu said feeling slightly better now that she had talked things over and she was in Peter's arms. She knew she would have to get help, and soon. But for now, things were OK, because she was in his loving arms.

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A/N: The chapter title is from the Dolly Parton song I Will Always Love You. I am so glad that Renthead07 helped me get past my writer's block! 


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